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Anonymous contributions to the website are not normally published. However the following is too good not to share...An Advanced InstructorLeaps tall buildings at a single bound Is more powerful than a locomotive Is faster than a speeding bullet Walks on water Gives policy to God An Open Water Instructor....Leaps short buildings in a single bound Is as powerful as a locomotive Is as fast as a speeding bullet Walks on water if the sea is calm Talks to God A Club Instructor....Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favourable wind Loses tug of war with locomotive Is almost as fast as a speeding bullet Walks on water in an indoor pool Talks with God by special request An Advanced Diver....Barely clears prefabricated huts Is almost as powerful as a shunting engine Can fire a speeding bullet Swims well Is occasionally addressed by god A Dive Leader....Leaves marks on walls when trying to clear buildings Is run over by a locomotive Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury Dog paddles Talks to Animals A Sports Diver....Runs into buildings Recognises locomotive 2 out of 3 times Is not issued with ammunition Can stay afloat with a life jacket Talks to walls An Ocean Diver....Falls over doorsteps trying to enter buildings Says "Look at the choo-choo" Not allowed elastic for his/her catapult Plays in mud puddles Mumbles to him/her self The Diving Officer....Lifts tall buildings and walks under them Kicks locomotive off the tracks Catches speeding bullets in her mouth and eats them Freezes water with a single glance IS God
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